It's 11:30pm right now and I think it just hit me that I will be starting my second year of grad school tomorrow morning. It's almost surprising to me that classes will be starting tomorrow! I did know about it though so it's kinda ironic that I think that classes have snuck up on me. Oh well, I am looking forward to this upcoming year. Not only will there be more friends on campus than ever, but I am hoping to make some big advances in my research. Wishful thinking? Maybe.

Also, something that has been on my mind lately is the topic of giving. Not necessarily giving to the church, as we should be doing that anyways. But more just giving to the poor, the needy, and people in general. I've been seeing opportunities where it's good to give to people or to be generous with my money (or, as a student, lack thereof), but is it foolish to do that rather than to just save it in the bank and have it for future use? I've been getting mixed answers about it. There is the story in the Bible about how the poor beggar woman gave all that she had to the church. Money that could have been used to feed herself. But in this day and age, is it completely ridiculous to give away all your money to the poor? (not that I am thinking about doing that). Just thinking about that.

Oddly enough, I've been doing a lot of reading lately. In the evening, instead of watching TV and bumming around, I've actively been trying to do more reading. That actually reminds me, I need to update my "book review" section and write about the last few books that I've read this past month. I'll do it soon.

In other news, congrats to G and Ange who got engaged this past weekend back in Maryland! A long time coming, we're all very excited for them:) Hope to see you two very soon.

Tonight I have probably been more humbled by God than I have been in a long time.

Tonight I was shockingly reminded of the innumerable blessings that God Almighty has heaped upon me in these 25 years here on earth.

In addition, God silenced my rebellious attitude as I would look at situations in my life and complain in my heart at how things were not how I had planned them to be.

For some reason, I spent the majority of tonight cleaning and organizing some letters and cards that I had recieved from friends and family over the course of some 15 years. In doing so I realized how blessed I truly am by many people. Moreover, I recieved a phone call from my dear friend Paul whom I rarely get a chance to talk to, yet we spent about an hour sharing life together.

I am quite aware of God's mercy tonight. In His holy and righteous wrath, he should have crushed me. But He crushed His Son instead and saved me from death. Not only that, but He continues to pour grace and mercy on undeserving me. I'm not that great at describing what I'm feeling right now, but worshipful-fear is probably the best way to describe a small portion of it.

"THE FEAR OF THE LORD IS THE BEGINNING OF WISDOM AND KNOWLEDGE OF THE HOLY ONE IS UNDERSTANDING" --Proverbs 9:10

"It astonishes me how many Christians watch the same banal, empty, silly, trivial, titillating, suggestive, immodest TV shows that most unbelievers watch. This makes us small and weak and worldly and inauthentic in worship. Instead, turn off the television on Saturday night and read something true and great and beautiful and pure and honorable and excellent and worthy of praise (Philippians 4:8). Your heart will unshrivel and be able to feel greatness again."

--John Piper

I tried this last night. Instead of watching tv or surfing the internet last night, I did some reading from Ed Welch's "When People are Big and God is Small". I'd like to say that it helped me this morning especially during worship to more quickly direct my attention away from myself and onto God. If only I can do this on a more regular basis.